Grasshoppa

Chutzpa

King Abdullah may in fact be right, but there's definitely something offputting about being lectured on the validity of elections from a leader of a country that has never had a free election.

Exploding stereotypes

If nothing else, the most recent suicide bombing in Israel should help dispell the notion that terrorists, especially suicide bombers, are poor and uneducated. After all, it was perpetrated by children's tv show hostess from a wealthy family. I guess she took all of the hatred, incitement, and glorification of martyrdom spewed on Palestinian children's TV to heart.

Shana Tova

Just wishing a happy new year to all my Jewish readers. Let's hope the upcoming year is better than the last.

Take the money and run

Home can be an emotional place, especially if you've only had one your whole life. It is the keeper of memories and the center of one's personal and professional life. Yet sometimes, the situation arises when one must pull up the stakes and move on. Such is the situation faced by Israelis in Gaza - it is no longer a question of if they will move, but when and how. As such, I suggest that they take the proposed government compensation package and break north.

TANG Memos

Allow me to recap the recent to-do in the blogosphere:

They're forgeries!

Maybe they're not.

Yes are!

Nuh uh!

uh huh!!

No way!

etc.

Is it just me, or is there something terribly disturbing about the fact that less than 2 months from the presidental election, only a mere 3 years (almost to the day) since the 9-11 attacks, here we are, arguing over the minutiae of typesetting to discern what took place 30+ years ago. Let's discuss the ideas for the next 4 years, shall we? Frankly, I'd rather vote for a scoundrel with a vision than an upstanding citizen that can't even decide what he should eat (not that either candidate necessarily falls into those categories). A pox on both your houses I say.

Admittedly, out of all this, I did get to learn a new word: kerning.

Use the Force, Romanians

Via Israelicool, I found that a new school has opened in Romania - a Jedi Academy:

A Star Wars acedemy that teaches about the religion of the Jedi, use of the light sabre and speaking in Wookiee has opened its doors in Romania.

Adrian Pavel, who runs the country's Star Wars Club, decided to found the Jedi Academy after getting so many questions from fellow fans on how they can be more like their heroes in the Star Wars films.

He told local daily Libertatea: "We have meetings and lectures, and we dress like Jedis, but this is no longer enough. We'll soon learn how to handle the light sabres in academy classes.

"The academy is open to everybody. There is a quiz with 100 questions that will cover even the darkest aspects of the Star Wars phenomenon that needs to be done in 24 hours. Anyone who passes quiz will have a place in the Jedi Academy."

The academy is also offering special modules for true devotees, like cooking some of the dishes seen in the Star Wars films including Wookiee Cookies, Princess Leia Danish donughts, Sand Trooper sandwiches and Twin Sun toasts.

Honestly, I would have expected Princess Leia cinamon rolls but hey, I'm no Jedi master.

I'm guessing that this guy is one of their star graduates. Check out his pimpin' ride.

Ivan the terrible

This new hurricane, Ivan, appears to be making Charley and Francis seem like mere sprinkles. 90% of the homes of Grenada damaged? Incredible and terrible.

Size can be deceiving

In light of the recent study claiming that Americans spend more time in traffic than ever before, and in light of Mac Thomason's blaming of an SUV for his recent traffic jam experience, I was thinking about how SUVs affect traffic - not in the typical "they make life difficult for car drivers" but in terms of length. My original hypothesis is that since SUVs (and mini-vans and pickup trucks) are so much longer than cars, that they take up more room on the road (of which there is a finite amount) meaning less cars, i.e.

Let's suppose we have a section of highway of length D, and a total number of cars, N, with an average length of l. Let's further state that the average space between autos is s. This means that the number of cars, N, that can fit on the road is given by:

N=D/(l+s)

Based on this equation, if we want more autos on the road, we either have to increase the road length (D), or decrease the space between cars (l) or decrease the length of the cars (l). In traffic jams, obviously s is decreased and we all drive at crawling speeds, if it all. But let's suppose we are magically able to reduce the length of the autos - then we can fit in more cars per length of road. Here's an example:

Suppose D=5 miles, l=15.5 ft, and s=88 ft (the distance covered in 1 second by a car travelling at 60 mph). With these numbers, we can fit 102 cars in the 5 mile stretch. Now if we were to cut l by 10%, we could fit 103.5 cars in the same space. Cutting the length in half only increases the number to 110.3. Not much improvement, and that's at unsafe driving distances (I distinctly remember the 2 second rule). However, at least here in Boston, no one puts that much distance between themselves and the car in front of them, so let's cut s to 20 ft. Then the improvement in chopping off 10% of the mean car length is 13.6 cars - better, but not great. So much for my theory.

But wait it gets worse - I figured that SUVs and the like were on average, about 10% longer than cars and that those vehicles accounted for about 40% of the autos on the road. Thus, if those 40% drove cars instead of SUV like vehicles, there would be a 4% reduction in mean auto length. Well, as you can see above, even a 10% overall reduction doesn't do much. But, even my estimate of relative car and SUV length was wrong. Here are some vehicle lengths I found:

SUV's:
Honda Pilot: 188.0"
Ford Explorer: 189.5"
Mercury Mountaineer: 191.0"

Sedans:
Toyota Camry: 189.2"
Honda Accord: 189.5"
Audi A4: 179.0"

Compacts:
Mini Cooper: 142.8"
Mazda 3: 176.6"
Honda Civic: 175.4"

Minivans:
Honda Odyssey: 201.2"

In short, the SUVs aren't much longer (if at all) than a lot of family cars, and only 7% longer than 2 of the compacts (the Mini stands alone there). Honestly, I was quite shocked about the lengths of the Accords and the Camrys. But it says a couple of things. One: my hypothesis is just wrong, unless I've screwed up my math. Two: unless you've got a gaggle of kids or a lot of luggage to haul around, a family sedan could probably serve your needs and get you much better gas mileage.

The '05 Acural RL

David Thomas over at Autoblog thinks I'm crazy because I think that the new '05 Acura RL looks too much like a Honda Accord. An '02 Accord Coupe to be exact. Allow me to make my case:

The '05 Acura RL:

The '02 Honda Accord:

Yes the Accord has 2 doors and the Acura has 4, but I still see a great resemblance.

Republicans are scary, Part 2

Way to go tough guy, kicking a woman while grabbing her and throwing her down..

Note: I don't see where she was being held down by the Secret Service agents. It looks to me like a couple of them were pulling her aside when the creep knocked her down and kicked her. Either way, the guy is a wuss.

Republicans are scary, Part 1

I meant to blog about this awhile ago, but pressing deadlines required postponement. Some weeks ago I received an envelope from the Republican National Committee that contained a letter from Ed Gillespie and a census to be filled out by registered Republicans. I suppose receiving such things isn't particularly noteworthy, except for the fact I'm not a registered Republican. When I first registered some 13 years ago, I never chose a party affiliation and had I chosen one back then, it sure wouldn't have been the GOP. In fact, I wouldn't choose the GOP now, even though I am sympathetic with some of Bush's policies. Nevertheless, there it is in black and white:

Dear Fellow Republican,

You are among a selet group of Republicans who have been chosen to take part in the official CENSUS OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.

Enclosed is your GOP CENSUS DOCUMENT which was assigned and prepared especially for you as a representative of all Republicans living in your voting distrcit

And right below that a registration number. Very odd and very disturbing. I just moved so I do need to change my voting address, so I will verify my (lack of) party affiliation at that time.

The enclosed letter and especially the census was cause for both dismay and laughter, as both documents conformed to almost every Republican stereotype. All of the questions were of the yes/no/undecided variety, as if everything were a simple matter of black and white:

"Do you support the use of air strikes against any country that offers safe harbor or aid to individuals or organizations committed to further attacks on American?"

"Do you continue to support increasing the amount of security at airports, train stations and all government buildings including monuments and museums?"

My favorite, however, had to be at the end of the census when they ask for money:

Will you join the Republican National Committee by making a contribution today?

Yes, I support the RNC and am enclosing my most generous contribution of ___

Yes, I support the RND but I am unable to participate at this time. However, I have enclosed $11 to cover the cost of tabulating my survey.

No, I favor electing liberal Democrats over the next ten years.

$11 to process what is nothing but a glorified Scantron sheet? Please...they must have gone to the Haliburton school of cost estimation. I'm tempted to send in the survery without the $11, so they can grapple with idea of a putative Republican supporting electing liberals for the next ten years.

Re-arrival

Today represents the 350th anniversary of the arrival of the first Jews to North America - Arrival Day. Coincidentally, tonight I will be attending the final nominations committee of Geshercity – Boston a volunteer driven organization with the mission of trying to connect young Jewish adults to the greater Jewish community. As it turns out, this last meeting will mark my final act as the chair of Geshercity-Boston; after 3 years of sitting on the Geshercity-Jewish Interaction board, you’re automatically put out to pasture. It’s an odd feeling realizing that I’ll no longer be a part of Geshercity – I’ve been part of the organization for at least 5 years. In fact, I would describe myself as a Geshercity success story: I had no connection with the Boston Jewish community prior to becoming involved with Geshercity. However, as the organization’s name suggests, Geshercity is but a bridge to the Jewish community, and although I’ve taken the scenic route in crossing it, this part of the journey is finished. I must now decide what to do next.

I specifically chose to describe my time at Geshercity as part of a journey back to the Jewish community because it has indeed been a long road, and it isn’t finished. I grew up in a predominately Catholic section on Long Island, and as you might imagine most of my friends were not Jewish. To be sure, a significant portion of my friends were Jewish, but that was more of a function of geographic coincidence (we lived pretty close to each other), rather than, say synagogue membership or youth group attendance. Indeed, I always felt that the forced socialization of Jewish kids to be contrived. I did attend Hebrew school, which was a thoroughly unpleasant experience. (The material was interesting but the kids were mostly intolerable.) I hated the local youth groups for their cliquish ways and I never wanted to attend “Jewish camp.” Why should I want to hang out with a bunch of snotty Jewish kids when I already had my friends – Jewish and goyish. One might say that I was a well assimilated American Jew.
This is not to say, I never encountered anti-Semitism – I still remember being called a “Jew Boy” by some Italian kid in second grade – but this, like the other few events were pretty minor.

My anti-contrived Jewish socialization continued through college. I tried becoming a part of the Hillel, but I just didn’t feel at home, although I make use of the Hillel for High Holiday services and for Passover meals. Indeed, the Hillel was instrumental in fighting the Claremont Colleges for the right to use a never used kitchen to prepare kosher for Passover meals. The resistance the Hillel met was testimony to how un-Jewfriendly the Claremont colleges were at the time, but that’s a whole other story for another time. Besides, I didn’t have much time for Jews or Judaism – I had problem sets to complete and exams to prepare for.

I had the same attitude when I started grad school, but eventually my attitude started to change. Some of the change was prompted by the reaction to a couple of fellow students in my early grad school classes. Both of them were orthodox and during the High Holidays and Passover, they took off several days, missing several classes. This prompted some grumbling from on professor in particular and this grumbling proceeded to irk me. These two weren’t taking off time to go frolic on a vacation – they were being true to their religion and culture. I suspect the professor’s attitude was a function of the inability to grasp that someone could consider something other than his class to take priority. Looking back at it now, I see the reaction as an example of the intellectual elite’s tendency to dismiss and denigrate religion. But at the time, I saw it as an example of Jews being misunderstood in America.

Nevertheless, my contact with fellow Jews during my early grad school years was minimal. It wasn’t a conscious decision per se – although I never sought out Jews, I never actively avoided them. I hung out with my non-Jewish friends, dated non-Jewish women and was pretty happy – except around Jewish holiday time. My lack of Jewish friends left me decidedly alone on the Jewish holidays (if nothing else, the Jewish religion is a very social one). After several of these holidays I decided to seek out fellow Jews. Eventually, I found Geshercity Boston and, as they say, the rest is history.

So what does this have to do with Arrival Day? 350 years after the arrival of the first Jew in America, in many respects, the American Jewish community has, for lack of a better word, arrived. Jews have become an integral part of the social, political, cultural, and intellectual fabric of America. We can generally walk around without any fear of being beaten, harassed or discriminated against. However, lately, things appear to be changing. The internet is rife with anti-Semitism, some blatant, some less so. Indeed, take a look at any forum that allows anonymous posting and you’ll find plenty of anti-Semitism. Given the safety of internet anonymity, people will reveal their true colors. With the recent “Israeli spy” scandal, accusations of Jewish dual loyalty have resurfaced, and even if the suspected mole, Larry Franklin, isn’t Jewish, he sure talks like them.. The Passion of the Christ, a movie that, at best, paints Jews in an unsympathetic light, recently became one of the highest grossing movies of all time in the US, (thanks in no small part to Abe Foxman’s big mouth). The list goes on.

In these times, American Jews need each other, and yet our numbers are dwindling. Judaism and Jewish culture are seen as burdens rather than gifts. Indeed my friend’s Jewish co-workers were actively rooting for a new hire not to be an orthodox Jew. This shouldn’t be. Judaism, in its strictest form, is a difficult religion to follow, but that shouldn’t mean it should be tossed aside as an inconvenience. Jewish culture should not be something to be embarrassed about. Members of minority of groups find themselves identifying more and more with their culture, and we Jews would do well to do the same. If we do not, there will be precious few of us to celebrate Arrival day in 2354.

Farce

Please tell me that Ahnold didn't call out people who are less than sanguine on the economy as "economic girlie men."

Sometimes I feel like we're all living in an SNL parody of a bad Hollywood movie.

Nearly Impossible

Scanng through Joshua Hammer's adieu to Israel, I noticed this one rather offhand comment:

"When I met the commander of the Aqsa Martyrs Brigades in Jenin three weeks ago, he conceded that Israel's security barrier had made it 'nearly impossible' to launch attacks across the Green Line."

Unfortunately, that "nearly" results in the dual suicide bombings in Beersheva. Nevertheless, the commander's candid remark is all one needs to know why that wall should be built. Sure, try to minimize the hardship meted out to the Palestinians by its construction, but in the end, Israeli lives are going to supersede Palestinian discomfort.

Anti-semitisme

I'm not sure how I missed this...perhaps I was too involved in finishing my dissertation, but Marie Brenner's article from last year on the wave of anti-Semitism that hit (and continues to hit) France is absolutely fascinating.

Comment away

Thanks to the excellent and effective MT-Blacklist courtesy of Jay Allen, I was able to remove all of the comment spam and add a simpler blacklist. As such, comments are once again available!

I await your pearls of wisdom with great anticipation...