Gil is back from his Nepalese vacation. Go welcome him back.
(As an aside, how sad is it that he gets more readers per day when he doesn't blog for a month than I do when I blog every day.)
Let me begin by reiterating that Donald Luskin’s threated suit of Atrios is absurd, frivolous, and ultimately, self-defeating. (Someday people will learn that more often than not, the best way to minimize an insult or a perceived obscenity is to ignore it.) As much as I loathe Atrios, I actually felt a bit bad for him, being faced with the prospect of losing his internet anonymity and dealing with a lawsuit. Then I ran across his use of the chickenblogger name yet again, and decided that they hypocritical bastard deserves to squirm.
A variant on the “chickenhawk” epithet, “chickenblogger” suggests that any blogger who supported the war in Iraq but didn’t immediately run to his/her Army recruiter to volunteer for duty is a coward. I can understand applying the chickenhawk name to certain pro-war politicians and pundits; after all, it’s rather offputting to be told that we must go to war by people who found ways to avoid military service when it was their time to serve. But being called a chickenblogger by a blogger who refuses to put his money where his mouth is by hiding behind a cloak of an internet pseudonym is galling. That he is one of the nastier bloggers (despite what Yglesias thinks) out there only aggravates the matter. It’s rather ironic that someone who ridiculed Gregg Easterbook (who accepted his firing from ESPN and never lashed out at those who helped publicize his blog entry to his employers) for claiming that free speech does have a cost is now being held accountable for things written on his site. Karma is a bitch, isn’t it?
Again, I sincerely hope that this threatened lawsuit never reaches fruition, but only because it could inhibit other bloggers from maintaining comments on their sites. As for Atrios, I won’t shed a tear if his true identity is revealed. Maybe it’s time for Dr. Jekyll to come out of the blogging closet.
The Christian Science Monitor reports an increase in the number of Islamic terror attacks since the beginning of the holy month of Ramadan. The article seeks to find an explanation for this trend, but seems to miss the obivous: the terrorists are hungry! I know I get cranky after not eating for awhile - imagine the mood of someone predisposed to violence after fasting day after day?
Got this in my email today:
One day Count Dracula is walking down the street when suddenly 10 tons of smoked salmon sandwiches, sausage rolls, chicken wings, chipolatas, tomato salad, pizza slices and crisps fall on him from a great height and crush him to the ground.
"Oh no!" he gasps with his dying breath, "It's Buffet the Vampire Slayer!"
I hate defending "Atrios," but this is ridiculous. If I worked for NRO, I'd be embarrassed.
Total amount of the $83 billion requested by the Bush administration to be applied to the construction of Iraq: $20 billion.
Total cost of Boston's Big Dig: $14 billion.
The Big Dig is only for one part of the highway system for one city; the aid for Iraq is for the whole counrty. Either we're getting a great bargain in Iraq or we've been robbed here in Boston. I'm going to vote for the latter.
Here's a fun exercise concerning two countries, country A and country B.
First, read this story about how country A's airforce prepared for a military strike on country B; specifically this part:
When the squadron commander said they had the most suitable weapons, he meant every word. He told he magazine that they chose precision guided bombs instead of dumb bombs because it was imperative not to miss.
"Not everyone knows this, but just 100 meters from the wadi where the training base was located were houses from a civilian village. We needed to have absolute accuracy," he said.
Then read about the threat issued by country B towards country A; specifically:
"We have many cards that we have not played. Don't forget there are many [country A] settlements in the Golan. I am not exaggerating but I am describing things as they might happen."
Now answer this question: which country currently sits on the UN Security council and which country is the subject of more UN resolutions than any other.
A terribly bloody day in Iraq, especially with a suicide bombing at the International Red Cross headquarters. None of today's targets were really American targets (4 police stations and the Red Cross headquarters) so it would seem that even a withdrawal of American troops probably wouldn't end the violence. The nature of the attacks also indicate that defensive security measures aren't enough; how do you prevent a bomb laden ambulance from getting close enough to the ICRC headquarters without hindering true ambulance mobility? More offensive measures need to be taken, and it has to be done by the Iraqi police to remove the stigma of foreigners cracking down on the native population.
And so the banking situation in Boston has just taken another turn of the worse as Fleet Bank will be bought by Bank of America. I hated Fleet Bank (which, in Boston, used to be Bay Bank, then BankBoston) since they charge you a fee for everything. When I lived in California, I hated B of A for similar reason, so the synergy of the two can only bring bad things. The rate of bank mergers and acquistions here in Boston is dizzying and as a result, I'm currently on my 5th bank account in 8 years. For now, I'm going to stick with the diminuituve Brookline Bank which doesn't charge me fees up the wazoo.
By the way, does this mean that the Celtics and the Bruins are now going to be playing in the B of A Center?
Matthew Yglesias notes how Eminem's lyrics on the radio radically differ from those on the album. At least substituting "clean" lyrics keeps the song's continuity. Far worse, in my opinion, is when they blank out the offending words. The effect is more apparent on hip-hop songs when sometimes it sounds like the artist is hicupping every other word. The two worst songs that come to mind are Lil Kim (featuring Sisqo) 's "How many licks" and Funkmaster Flex (featuring DMX)'s "Do You".
It also amuses me how unevenly this censorship is applied. After all, when was the last time you heard Sarah McLachlan's "Building a Mystery" censored?
Tex asks which car you buy if you won AU $30,000 (US $21,000) tax free.
My answer: An Abyss Blue Pearl 2004 Acura TL with an automatic transmission and navigation system. I sat in one of these cars and it was pure luxury. Of course MSRP for this is $34,600, so I'd have to kick in another $15,000+ (after taxes) but it's worth it.
By the way, if there are any generous souls out there, feel free to contribute to my Acura TL fund.
If you ever want a good chuckle, read the comments to this post where an anonymous poster is excoriated for posting anonymously on a blog that is run pseudonymously.
As long as anti-Semitism is used for domestic consumption in Muslim countries, it's ok.
Somehow, he missed the fact that the speech was given at an internation conference and was roundly defended by every Muslim leader that attended the conference. He also neglected the fact that Mahathir has been hammering at this Jews control the world point for quite some time. I guess it's just easier to blame Bush and Sharon.
Now this is what I like to see. Czerkawski seems like a man on a mission and I hope he keeps up the scoring. Next stop: putting the smack down on my Canadian home away from home: Montreal.
I know I’m late into the fray on this one, but ESPN firing Gregg Easterbrook for his comments on his blog? Ye Gods! With ESPN.com no longer hosting Tues. Morning Quarterback, there’s no other reason to visit the site, except for game scores. But I digress. Here is the offending paragraph from Easterbrook’s rant on Tarantino movies and violence in movies in general:
Disney's CEO, Michael Eisner, is Jewish; the chief of Miramax, Harvey Weinstein, is Jewish. Yes, there are plenty of Christian and other Hollywood executives who worship money above all else, promoting for profit the adulation of violence. Does that make it right for Jewish executives to worship money above all else, by promoting for profit the adulation of violence? Recent European history alone ought to cause Jewish executives to experience second thoughts about glorifying the killing of the helpless as a fun lifestyle choice. But history is hardly the only concern. Films made in Hollywood are now shown all over the world, to audiences that may not understand the dialogue or even look at the subtitles, but can't possibly miss the message--now Disney's message--that hearing the screams of the innocent is a really fun way to express yourself.
Upon reading that paragraph, my jaw dropped open, not because I thought it was anti-Semitic, but because it was just another example of Jews being held to a higher standard than non-Jews. There was also that rather over-the-top and specious assertion that glorification of violence in movies leads to violence on the scale of the Holocaust. But, as Haggai put it, the greedy Jew stereotype appeared to be oblique and unintentional. Nevertheless, it was exactly this apparent stereotype that unleased a firestorm which even made it into the mainstream press. Apparently, all people read was “Jewish executives…worship money.” Just because those 4 words are in close proximity doesn’t mean they constitute an anti-Semitic phrase.
People need to get a grip. First, anyone who has read Easterbrook’s pieces in the past (especially in the New Republic) know that he’s not an anti-Semite. Second, he didn’t say all Jewish executives worship money, or even most of them. He merely said that just because Christian executives worship money doesn’t make it ok for Jewish ones to do the same. One could argue that this is an unfair standard to hold Jews up to, but it’s hardly anti-Semitic. In anycase, what Easterbrook wrote surely should not have been grounds for his firing from ESPN. Third, whether one felt it sufficient or not, he at least gave a heartfelt apology. (N.b., Gregg, when something you’ve blogged starts an emotional reaction, respond immediately on your blog. It might have saved your job.)
So what we have now is complete mess on many levels. First, Easterbrook has lost perhaps his most lucrative job. Second, Because ESPN (as far as I know) hasn’t given so much as a statement on Easterbrook’s firing, it looks like he’s been fired for his “anti-Semitic” remarks, giving them a fig leaf for firing him for insulting his boss, Michael Eisner. Third, the reaction by some folks (as seen more so by the comments attached to the blog posts than the blog posts themselves) only adds fuel to the fire that you can’t say the word Jew without being accused of anti-Semtism. Finally, and most importantly, every time something like this happens, the effectiveness of an anti-Semitism charge is diluted. Keep crying wolf and eventually no one will listen.
Here's a little eye opener about how previous US reconstruction efforts have failed. It's like deja-vu all over again.
Then again, incidents like this don't exactly inspire confidence. Another 4 dead Americans. Wonderful.
You can't deny it, Game 7 lived up to everything it was supposed to be, except of course if your a Sox fan. Between the hanging heads of the fans I saw walking back home last and the angry calls for blood I heard on the sports talk radio, a great depression has set in the Red Sox nation. Since this is October, that's about par for the course.
I honestly thought the Sox were going to win when Nixon hit the two run shot in the second inning. Clemens obviously didn't have his best stuff, and Pedro looked like he was on. When it become 4-0 in the fourth inning, I thought it was all but over. Who knew that Jason Giambi would find his bat and Grady Little would be foolish enough to leave Pedro in for the 8th inning? After Boone won the game, I actually felt bad for the Sox and to a much lesser degree, their fans. No doubt that Boone will be added to Bucky and Buckner in the land of Red Sox Infamy.
With that, allow me to give out my game awards:
MVP: Mike Mussina. Sure, Mariano Rivera won the series MVP and shut down the Red Sox offensive machine, but it was Mussina who came in the middle of a Red Sox rally, with runners on 1st and 3rd with nobody out, and somehow managed to stop the bleeding. Keep in mind that this was his first relief appearance ever and that he's had no luck in the playoffs so far.
Goat: Grady Little Yes, hindsight is 20/20 but I, (and probably most Red Sox fans) knew that Pedro was tiring in the 8th inning. After Jeter hit that double I couldn't figure out why Little left Pedro in there to face three left handed batters, especially given that the Sox bullpen had been unhittable. I know it's tempting to stay with your ace pitcher, but Torre knew he had to remove Clemens in the fourth and Little should have known he had to remove Pedro in the eighth.
Should buy his teammates dinner: Alfonso Soriano. Four strikeouts and then a ground out with the bases loaded doesn't cut it. The Yanks won despite Soriano, not because of him.
Temporarily redeemed: Jason Giambi While the rest of his team was whiffing away, Giambi kept it close with two solo home runs. However, he hasn't made up for his poor perfomance - yet.
Guy you gotta feel bad for: Tim Wakefield Wakefield gave it everything he had in this series and literally won two games for the Sox. It's a shame that he threw the home run pitch to Boone.
So now it's on to Miami. It'll be a tough series and I hope the Yankees didn't expend all their energy on the ALCS. I do have to wonder who will start on Saturday. I'm guessing Pettitte, but we'll see.
Go Yanks.
P.S. To all those Sox fans who buy those lame anti-Yankees T-shirts, I have one word for you: 1918.
P.P.S. Ha Ha. Always picking the losers, aren't ya.
If* it is true that our troops are bulldozing the trees of Iraqi farmers for failing to rat out terrorists, then restitution had better be made to said farmers in short order. I understand the frustration of our troops trying to find the hidden enemy that assails them, but they also need to understand that these tactics are not going to increase the number of informants.
Putting aside the ethics (or lack thereof) of this operation, the commander(s) who ordered this operation damn well better get their heads out of their asses and realize that any story like this is going to be broadcast throughout the anti-American and Muslim world. One only needs to google "US soldiers bulldoze farmers' crops" to see this.
*I say "if" because the story is reported in the odious Independent and only in the Independent. Every other media outlet that carried the story carried the same one written by Patrick Cockburn. It's been almost a week since the story went to press and I can't find it elsewhere.
As if I needed even more reason to hate the Red Sox, I find out that they're Allah's team. (Must be why they perpetually lose). Nevertheless, his take on the game 4 brouhaha is the funniest I've seen.
You know, it's bad enough that the leader of the most populous Muslim nation is a raving anti-Semite, but it's even worse when the nominal leader of a country we just liberated compliments said anti-Semite after claiming that Jews run the world.
Quoth Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad:
"The Europeans killed 6 million Jews out of 12 million, but today the Jews rule the world by proxy ... they get others to fight and die for them."
Quoth Hamid Karzai:
"It is great to hear Prime Minister Mahathir speak so eloquently on the problems of the ummah (Muslim world) and ways to remedy them," Karzai said. "His speech was an eye-opener to a lot of us and that is what the Islamic world should do."
Thanks for your support, Mr. Karzai. See if I ever eat at your brother's restaurant again, bitch.
Ugh. So it goes to game 7. This is painful, especially because I think the Red Sox have the edge now. To quote many a Star Wars character, "I have a bad feeling about this."
By the way, how useless is Giambi? Sure he hit a solo home run, but he struck out three times, the worst of which was when he had men on 2nd and 3rd base with only 1 out. I always thought that the Yanks should have stuck with Tino Martinez because when it came down to it, he'd come through in the clutch. Giambi is a choker even when he was with the A's.
What's wrong with picture?
Hint: Keep this quote in mind:
"I realize that Arafat is very sorry, but he has to change the system," said Danish Foreign Minister Per Stig Moeller. "It's not good enough."
The Chicago Sun-Times just revealed the identity and employer of Chicago's most wanted fan. If there was ever an example of irresponsible journalism, this is it. Sure, his identity may have eventually made its way into the public forum, but there was no reason for the Sun-Times to broadcast it through the media megaphone.
Ah sports, always guaranteed to bring out the best in people. Witness the reaction of Cubs fans to that one fan who interfered with Moises Alou catching a foul ball: hurling insults and full cups of beer and issuing enough threats that Wrigley Field security had to escort the guy out because he feared for his life. Never mind the fact that the Cubs’ $6 million shortstop booted what you have been an easy double play. Nevertheless, once can understand (but not accept) these antics as a heat of the moment reaction. (Oh and a piece of advice to Cubs fans – if you’re going to interfere with the ball, do it to HELP your team. See Jeffrey Maier for further information).
The same cannot be said for the fans of MLB’s other hard-luck team, the Boston Red Sox. No doubt that because the perpetually losing Sox are battling their arch-enemies, the consistently victorious, high spending, thoroughly hated Yankees, (a.k.a. “the Evil Empire,” as Red Sox president Larry Lucchino dubbed them) they are the darlings of the post season. However, these out-of-towners who are rooting for the Sox have obviously never had the dubious pleasure of experiencing BoSox fans.
Before I continue, let me state for the record that even though I grew up outside the city rooting for the Yankees. I went to a couple of games as a kid, I still have the bat from bat day (imagine them giving fans bats on the way in to Yankee stadium) and tried to amass as many Yankees baseball cards as I could. However, I was never a huge baseball fan and always thought of the Red Sox as just another team and of Boston as a historic city in Massachusetts.
That all changed when I moved to Boston 8 long years ago. Only upon moving here did I understand that there was an intense rivalry between the Yanks and the Sox, or rather between their respective fans. However, from my vantage point it seemed to be a one-sided rivalry. Red Sox fans carried this intense hatred of anything Yankees while Yankees fans generally never gave the Red Sox a second thought. It closely paralleled Boston’s general inferiority complex towards New York City – a subject for another time. But because this intense hatred of the Yankees permeates the very soul of so many Sox fans, I have acquired an intense hatred of Sox fans.
I understand the nature of heated rivalries. As an Islanders fan, I detest the Rangers and admittedly take some pleasure whenever some ill befalls them. But I’ll be damned if I’d start chanting “Rangers suck” at an Isles-Lighting game, or wear a shirt that said “Messier swallows.” Yet, while I was at a Mets-Red Sox game at Shea Stadium, during the early innings, a visiting group of the Fenway faithful started a “Yankees suck” chant until they were silenced by a Mets fan challenging them to try that chant in the Bronx. The Red Sox lost that game, by the way. I heard the same chant when the Sox were beating up the hapless Devil Rays at Fenway – the fans were obviously oblivious to the out of town scoreboard showing the Yankees easily winning their game. The scene outside Fenway park was even more surreal –bands of fans chanting “Yankees Suck” roving among countless vendors of “Yankees Suck” and “Jeter swallows” T-shirts. I always thought it odd that they singled out one of the more soft-spoken Yankees, but perhaps Sox fans are infuriated that he has 4 more rings than their beloved playoff choker, Nom-AH. I was particularly amused by the “You can take your 26 rings and shove them up your ass" shirts. What Sox fans wouldn’t give for just one of those rings… Hatred of the Yankees has superseded love for the Red Sox; they’ve got the t-shirts, they’ve got the bumper stickers, they’ve got the chants and they even have the websites
I am rooting hard for the Yanks, and right now, it’s mostly because I want them to inflict suffering upon the Red Sox nation. Of course, I want them to win another World Series (one never gets bored of winning), but I can live with them losing to the National League team, as long as they make it there and put the Red Sox out of their misery. Fans that have made hatred of another team their first priority don’t deserve a championship. They deserve nothing but scorn and derision. Right now, it’s about a half-hour before the first pitch of Game 6, so I beg of you, Andy Pettitte, send the Sox to their 85th consecutive early summer.
Is this terrrorism? Or is it a legitimate struggle to throw off the yoke of oppression caused by Americans offering Fulbright scholarships. Enquiring minds want to know. They also want to know if Hesiod is going to go apeshit over the murder of 3 Americans as much as he did over the death of Rachel Corrie.
I got this in my inbox and thought I would share. I'm not sure how being Jewish comes in to play here, but the joke is funny anyway:
An old Jewish man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Saul, who used to help him, was in prison for Insider Trading and Stock Fraud. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Solly: I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. Love, Papa
A few days later the old man received a letter from his son. Dear Papa, For heaven's sake Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the money & stocks. Love, Solly.
At 4 am the next morning, a team of FBI agents and local police arrived at the old man's house and dug up the entire garden area without finding any money or stocks. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son. Dear Papa, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Your son, Solly
You know that Roger Simon has never given birth when he writes this:
No, there are no physical similarities that I can concern, but they seem as if they both went through the same birthing experience. Their mothers must have had narrow urethras because they both came out with sore heads...(emphasis mine)
Imagine passing a baby through the urethra? As if giving birth wasn't painful enough...
California has yet another actor as governor, something I find to be humorously satisfying. Honestly, I don't know much about Gray Davis, nor about how much he was responsible for California's plethora of problems, but when 25%-30% of liberal/democratic voters voted for the recall, you know that Davis was unpopular. You can bitch and whine all you want, kossies, but the fact remains that about 1/5 of registered Democrats voted for Arnold. You only have yourselves to blame.
So now we have the denizens of dKos and Calpundit (but not the Calpundit himself) calling for a re-recall jihad to replace Schwartzenegger; something that epitomizes what I believe is one of the largest problems with politics: it's all about which team wins. That Scwartzenegger is among the most liberal of Republicans out there is lost on these people. He's pro-choice, pro-gun control and pro-gay marriage. On Howard Stern he even supported Mary Carey's porn for pistols program. That must have sent some of the more conservative Republicans into an apoplectic fit. This, of course, is of no concerned to these people. They see Republican and all they see is red.
Being a Massachusetts resident, I didn't have much of an opinion on the recall vote - I just hoped that whoever won would be able to cure of some of California's ails. I don't know if Arnold has the ability to do so, but I say it's worth giving him a chance.
In the meantime, I look forward to a Simpsons episode where McBain runs for mayor of Springfield.
Frankly, when I first heard about Israel's bombing of a Palestinian terror training camp outside of Damascus, I came to the conclusion that the current Israeli government has no idea what to do anymore. Combined with the repeated buy never acted upon calls for Arafat, this lashing out at Syria seemed to conclusively show that Israel has no idea what to do anymore. Fortunately, Ze'ev Schiff provides some more perspective.
I though this passage was particularly interesting:
The failure of American efforts to discourage Syrian support for terror spurred Israel on in its decision to take action. Not only did the fact that Syria is a member of the UN Security Council not affect the decision, but it may have even encouraged it, as a means of highlighting the absurdity of the membership in the Security Council of a country that is involved in direct assistance to terror organizations.
Nevertheless, I find it hard to believe this attack, even if it were to convince Syria to end its harboring of Palestinian terror boot camps, will help alleviate Israel's terrorism problem. Suicide bombers require lots of brainwashing, not trainig, all of which can be done in the confines of Jenin or Tulkarem. Moreover, if Islamic Jihad et al. are smuggling in terrorists and weapons, then it would behoove Israel to improve her border security.
So it seems that Ah-nold has been a bad boy at least 6 times. If these allegations are true, they surely will cement his reputation as a womanizer. Actually, even if they aren't true, I think the cementing has been done.
However, it will be interesting to watch the reactions of both sides of the political divide: Democrats and liberals who either said nothing to defended Bill Clinton when allegations of sexual harrassment and rape were leveled against him; and Republicans and conservations who claimed the moral and ethical high ground when assailing Clinton. Will the members of the two groups stand on principle and cop the same positions? Or will they change their stances based on the ideology of the accused. I'm going to go with the latter.
Then again, from the department of overblown rhetoric comes this quote, from a conservative staffer:
K.B. Forbes, who was the spokesman for conservative businessman Bill Simon's campaign until Simon dropped out of the race, said the accusations could hurt the actor. "This is stunning, and it may be a fatal blow to the Schwarzenegger campaign," he said. "It's not dirty politics; it's about women whose lives were destroyed."
"Women whose lives were destroyed?" Please. No doubt they were uncomfortable and upset, but I cannot believe these women's lives were destroyed by Arnold copping a feel or two.
The Israeli economy is contracting, thousands are out of work, and the government is cutting NIS 1.1 billion from the budget. Yet, somehow the government has found the funding for 600 new homes in the West Bank. Says Adi Mintz, director general of the Settlers Council, "We not only have the right to keep building, it is the obligation of the Jewish state to help us build." Absolutely brilliant. If I were an Israeli taxpayer, I'd be more than peeved about this. And I don't want to hear about "natural" growth. 600 houses is more like cancerous growth.
However, I must agree with Allison. Equating settlement construction with suicide bombing is disgusting. Remember, land can always be returned. Dead people cannot.
Should I hold my breath waiting for Robert Fisk to excoriate his Hizbollah heros for torturing Elhanan Tannenbaum and yanking out his teeth?
According to the Hindustan Times the Kuwaiti government has captured about $60 million worth of WMDs that were being smuggled out of Iraq to an "unnamed European country." If this is true, why isn't more being made of it?
After sparking controversy by claiming that Donovan McNabb is overhyped because he is black, Rush Limbaugh has resigned from ESPN's Sunday NFL Countdown. I can't say I'm too upset. I mean, if you're going to make a racially charged controversial remark, at least make a plausable racially charged controversial remark. McNabb hasn't been one of the top fantasy football QB picks because he's overrated. Besides, the media has no trouble ridiculing terrible black QB's. See Kordell Stewart.
Update: Now to add to Rush's woes, there are reports that he's been illegally purchasing and abusing Oxycontin. Set your Schadenfreude sensors on overload, folks.
Got this in my inbox:
Nick the Dragon Slayer had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts, but he knew the penalty for this would be death.
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.
Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch.
The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick! the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, shooed him away with no payment made.
The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's loincloth. The King immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer.....
MORAL OF THE STORY: Pay your bills.